The Story of M and N

September 16, 2011

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We came here to talk… and instead of telling each other… we got to tell the world.

M & N

September 16, 2011 4:04pm

“This moment keeps on moving, we were never meant to hold on” – Jack Johnson.

This quote has helped me get through all the irrelevent drama of being a teenager.  The drama of which, my 3 best friends and I, lay out a blanket at this bench, and voice our, at times frustrating problems.  This is the bench M and I go to when there’s nothing to do on a Friday night.  This is the bench we’ve cried at, laughed at, carved at, and drank starbucks at.  M and I come here and let out the stress, the happiness.  This is where I saw the most yellow fuzzy caterpillar… where we tried to figure out history in thinking the church, flagpole and Trinity were a part of a secret plan.  This is where today I am thankful for such a person to create the most wonderful thing I’ve ever encountered in my whole life in Newtown.  This is exactly what M and I needed.  To tell the world, of which is Newtown (our world) who we are.  This past summer M and I went to Spain (my 1st time) and I’ve never learned so much about myself.  I learned that friendship is the epitome of happiness.  And that love will find you, when you least expect it; when you think you’re finished.  I found love in Spain this summer.  I left what I didn’t want for what I thought I needed.  Yet it turns out what I need and want is an ocean away, a language lost in translation.  A, te echare de menos.  So here, today, at 4:28, at Old Castle Hill bench, I learn that we were never meant to hold on.  SO I advise you, all of Newtown, and the world, that you are here; in this moment of time.  This phrase is, yes, overused, but holds an immense amount of truth; but take advantage of the time you have with the things you love most.  Don’t do anything you don’t want.  Yes, it’s okay to listen to your heart!  If there’s 1 thing I’ve learned this summer, it’s passion over reason.  If you want to tell someone they’re hot… DO IT.  I did, and it changed my whole view of highschool.  Forget the bullshit and do what you truly have passion for.  Because one day you’re going to wish you had. And one day you’re going to wish you didn’t get involved with the irrelevent drama.

My english teacher once said, well always said, “There’s a method in the maddness” – Mr. K.

This is true with everything… and that one moment of embarrassment and uncomfortability, will make a warrior out of you.

With soul and love running wild,

yours truly,


P.S. ?tahw sekam enoemos tnegilletni?

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– We came here to talk… and instead of telling each other… we got to tell the world – M & N.

“What is the purpose of my life if it doesn’t have to do with learning to let it go?” – Jack Johnson

That is the quote that comes to my mind when I sit on this bench, when I hear the thousands of crickets churping away, the subtle wind making the grass dance, the few lonely clouds making their way to the next town, the flagpole, the flag slowly waving.  This is the quote that comes to mind when I am here – this view, at any time of the year, allows me to be in peace, forget about any and all my troubles and worries.  It soothes me.

I am here with my best friend N., you will see that her entry was tritten on the same day and time.  She is the only person in my life who knows, and most importantly, understands what I’ve been through throughout the course of my life.  I have travelled back and forth between countries all my life, having to leave behind many things and people I love with every move.  However, this has allowed me to meet people and create relationships that I know will last a very long time (if not my entire life).  And this has led me to learning, and knowing 4 languages.

However, I want to write about this bench, which, for all those who have been here, you probably know how unfathomably beautiful the view is, and how there are not many, if any, places like this.

I have my own memory.  This is where my exboyfriend and I had one of our best and most enjoyable fun nights.  I went to his house for the day, it was a snow day in the […] of 2011, my junior year in high school.  It was a heavy winter when it comes to snow, and we knew that we would have a snowday the following day, as well.  However, when we recieved a call from our superintendant, announcing this second snow day, I don’t think I’d ever gotten a bigger or stronger hug than the one he gave me (while jumping up and down with joy).  So, to celebrate, we decided to go on a walk – we came here.  He made a path in the snow for me, and I followed him, sitting on his lap once we arrived.  I felt love, passion, happiness, in his words, actions, and kisses.  I felt warmth in his touch, and was overwhelmed by his smile.  We layed down in the snow, disregarding the fact that we were indeed soaked from head to toe.  The good and enjoyable moments we had were some of the best I’ve ever experienced – and eventually, I gave him the privilege to something no other man will ever have.

Here I would like to write a little note to him, to express the words, feelings and thoughts I never found the courage to express:

To you: you are, by far, one of the most attractive, clever, humorous, witty, gorgeous, people I have ever known.  You had the capacity to lift me off my feet – but also to step on me.  You have one of the greatest families I have ever met, and hope that you take care of them to the best of your ability – they deserve it.  It would have been great to have developed a stable relationship – however, the amount of infatuation you created in me did not allow me to be my true self around you, and your sense of independence was too great for me to understand.  For that, I am sorry.  But I also wish you had taken more time to understand me and made a greater effort.

To the person who started the Castle Hill Bench Box – this is a wonderful, beautiful idea – make something great out of it.


To the man who will hold my heart for all eternity:


P.S. Screen Shot 2014-03-02 at 4.40.53 PM

I'm not your grandmother - talk back to me!

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